March 21, 2018
Why do corporations limit opportunities for part time workers? I feel like I am being discriminated by a system that makes it challenging to find suitable work for my experience and education. The work that is often offered is low pay, no benefits, and limited opportunities for advancement. It is really hard for me not to become discouraged. I have health issues that make it difficult for me to work full time, yet it doesn’t mean I can’t be competent and valuable as a part time worker.
I keep hoping and praying for an opportunity to prove myself, to show that I am a competent, efficient, and creative. I continue to educate myself, do more than the task at hand, and build relationships with the people around me. I believe that I become increasingly frustrated because I see this gap between how I am growing and developing and yet i still keep hearing “we don’t hire part time people for that position”. It doesn’t matter what my capabilities are, there is a limit if you can’t work full time.
My real passion is in the social work field. I love all aspects of what I call social services. I am especially drawn to helping those with challenges – children who have been abused, or need an advocate, people who don’t have homes, or those with addictions and mental illnesses. I enjoy the hands on experience, as well as assisting with goals, case management, or behind the scenes type of activities. I am very mission oriented – the purpose of the organization needs to be shown in the day to day activities.
I will keep advocating, writing and trying to find a voice for myself. At the same time, I aim to do this in the most respectful way possible. I have met some of the greatest people, who are heartfelt, yet are comfortable with the system as it is. I don’t pretend to understand or know all the logistics to running a business. Though I have had some experience in contract type of work. I am open to hearing and listening to the business perspective. Is there any way we can find something that benefits all?
I don’t want to be angry or bitter, and I am doing what I can to work through the various emotions that come up in relation to feeling like there is this box I can’t get out of. I have always hated feeling boxed in – perhaps my early days of being put in a trunk. I absolutely love finding ways to do something that is outside of the norm. It expands my thinking and beliefs in something greater.
I want to be an advocate. I want to also find others that might help me find a way through this maze. I believe that I can find a way to support myself, be more of who I am supposed to be, and create change in the way things are. I want to do this with integrity, with hope, and with a mindset that continues to be open and interested in the people.
Grace and Peace
Leave a Comment » | Chronic Pain, Employment | Tagged: business, change, chronic pain, disability, discrimination, employers, employment, fibromyalgia, Oregon, part time work, post concussion syndrome, social work, tbi | Permalink
Posted by Elissa T
May 24, 2016
Today I am feeling anxious, as I wait for an appointment with a new supervisor. I feel shame and inadequate and emotional as I plan out different dialogues in my mind. It is hard to be different, and to feel less than, and to have a brain and body that don’t work how I wish them to be. I have fibromyalgia and post concussion syndrome, these effect my memory, my emotions, my ability to process and hold a lot of information in my head, my energy level, and I have chronic pain.
I often have felt like a failure in the workplace, as I have worked at many different places over the years. In the earlier days, I believe part of it was because I was restless, and my goal was focused on navigating college and what would help me get there. I also struggled at times with coworkers or bosses, and processing through the criticisms that could often arise in the work environment. Without a real sense of my own value, it was easy to feel shattered or angry when others seemed to be against me. After having children, and becoming effected by fibromyalgia, work took on additional challenges. Having little energy seemed to aggravate my weaknesses for lack of detail, and focus, and sometimes had less tolerance for rude behaviors. Adding a mild traumatic brain injury to the mix, increases these difficulties even more as my brain struggles with memory, processing, and focusing. In many ways these has brought more tolerance for others, yet it can be more difficult to hide my emotions.
As I write about my perceived failures, it brings a sense of sadness to my suffering. Regardless of the circumstances, or my part in it, the pain of these experiences caused me to doubt myself as a person, and doubt my self worth. Regardless of where my next job leads me, this part isn’t true. My value and my success aren’t dependent upon outside circumstances, but of who I am as a person.
I pray that when I go into my meeting today, that I remember the strengths that have been brought to me through my processes. I have a variety of skills in the jobs I have done, as well as some attributes that have come out of my illnesses. I am more creative in finding what works, and much more present in my body and spirit. My acceptance, understanding and kindness towards others grows, as I find a small level of this towards myself. I know what it is like to feel overwhelmed, helpless and without hope, yet also know what it is like to see and feel love, to find support that empowers, and to believe in taking the next step towards my dreams. We are all on a journey, and I am grateful that each day brings me the opportunity to grow and be more of the person I desire to be.
Leave a Comment » | Chronic Pain, Daily Living, Disclosure, Employment, Work | Tagged: chronic illness, chronic pain, disability, employment, failure, fibromyalgia, post concussion syndrome, traumatic brain injury | Permalink
Posted by Elissa T