I am beginning to appreciate the phrase “two steps forward, one step back”. For me it would be more accurate to say “pause, one step forward, a pause, a little sideways, then start over again”.
The first pause is my time of pondering the vision. I love being in a dream mode and the times of reflection are really valuable. I often start out thinking and planning what I am going to do. This can be really productive to think about what steps I want to make, and decide whether previous actions were necessary. Often I find the passion in this stage, that helps me take the next step forward.
Taking one step forward is crucial for progress. I need to just do something on my action list to move in the right direction. Though my favorite place is the vision state and planning, when I move forward, I have more opportunity to plan greater dreams. As I take the time to write regularly, I can envision myself as an author someday, and my blogging will aide me in this direction. When I take a step towards my health by beginning new exercises, I can see why I have made such a choice and the results exercise has on my body. Every step forward leads me closer to being more of who I want to be and what I dream of.
What is with the second pause? For some reason I am finding that in the middle of my progression towards my goals, there seems to be many pauses that slow me down. Some times this is circumstances such as illness and/or a crisis. Other times I am feeling overwhelmed or lose sight of where I am going that I can’t seem to gain ground or get moving.
The sideways’ journeys always seem to happen for me. I get distracted by other things, or become so focused on one aspect of my goal that I lose sight of the big picture. I start thinking about new dreams and ideas, get lost in the lives of others, or just move without thinking. Though it feels like this is taking me away from what I want, often the lessons here can lead me more to who I want to be. It may seem slower, but if I am going sideways there is a reason for it. The wisdom gained here may be exactly what I needed to better prepare me for my next step. I also gain new relationships from the people nearby.
As I continue in my inconsistent cycles, insights are gained, relationships are developed and goals become fulfilled. At times I wish it was a more linear path for me, yet I imagine this would feel too predictable and boring. As I learn to accept my personal detours, I will be much happier, and incorporate all my cycles into creating a deeper and more meaningful life. Perhaps in time the detours will become less, as my vision is more clarified. However, in the mean time I will continue to absorb all of my reality in this journey of life.
Posted by Elissa T 
Chronic Pain Journals 